Monday, April 13, 2009

Inspiring Hypochondriacs Everywhere

Dear Web MD Symptom Checker,

According to you, I am possibly suffering from any of the following conditions:

1.Influenza (flu) adults
2.Common cold
3.Indoor allergens
4.Hay fever
5.Viral syndrome
6.Acute Sinusitis
8.Dust exposure
10.Nasal congestion
11.Cold exposure
12.Allergic reaction
13.Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
14.Exercise or physical activity (man, wouldn't that suck)
15.Lyme disease
16.Nonallergic rhinitis
19.Whooping cough
20.Chronic sinusitis

So umm... do I just pick and choose?


Friday, April 3, 2009

Stop Consuming My Life

Dear Papers,

Why must there be so many of you to write? It would make much more sense to just have a conversation about the assigned topic. It would benefit the environment too.

I find it extremely frustrating that it is expected for students to put so much time and energy into you, when you don't really have any weight in the "grand scheme of things", whatever that scheme may be.

Please: Suck It.